关于感情

《16 个夏天》 看起来像一部普通的偶像剧，给少女一点幻想的爱情片。我看到的重点却是友情。印象最深的角色是阿庆；一个热情，珍惜友谊且简单的角色。这部剧，仿佛让我预见我们的以后。各过各的生活，偶尔一次的聚会，都有了不能分享秘密，不能说的心事。也许每个人都不想这样，但每个人都很可能会这样。

以前，不会怕离别。因为觉得自己有珍惜过在一起的时刻。原来错了，其实是心里知道一定会再见。并不是所有的感情珍惜就会持久，并不会因为珍惜而不变。所以越珍惜的感情就越害怕失去。

有些人会把一些感情排个名次；亲情、友情、爱情？其实一样重要，不能取舍，也不必要取舍。往往却有人会因为一段感情而放弃另一段。如果说，每一段感情都有个上限，见一面少一面；那会后悔见多了，还是见少了？

多希望我们当中有个阿庆，因为我没资格。

If Tomorrow Never Come

Sometimes, I'll ask myself, if there is no tomorrow, what will I do today? Will I regret for something that not done?

Here, I've been three years. If everything going smoothly, if I only want to get a degree certificate, if I don't like study anymore, if I won't come back here next year.... What have I achieved over these year? I may not have good academic achievement, I may not expand my social network, I may not do any improvement apparently. But, I will say, all I've paid is worth for all I have now.

Sounds kinda early to do so called year review that I never do every year. Anyway, I keep reminding myself this year is the fifth year I away from home. What exactly a five year means? How an environment change me; how an obstacle change me. Though, is a special year for me. I met a different me. Sometimes, I think this is the worst of me. Sometimes, I feel disappointed of myself. It's not about any bad thing happens on me but about my reaction and strength of overcoming a problem.

I never know I can be so terrible. Whoever only know me this year, unfortunately, meet the worst of me. I thought I was prepared to present a better me. After all, just realized that confident overwhelmed me and my egoism tackle me. And I lost them totally.

Somehow, I try to assume won't be back, what will I do before I leave.

我是损友？

人家都说，真朋友就是，

在你无助时扶你一把；

在你失落时陪伴着你；

在你迷茫时引导着你。

他们不客气的命令你；

他们不保留的开你玩笑；

他们不犹豫地骂醒你。

也许，他们说的是忠言且逆耳；

也许，他们怕你受伤；

也许，他们担心你失去自我。

他们真的在乎你。

我在乎，我会担心，但我不会阻止，既是对大多数人而言是错的。

也许对别人而言是盲目，我会继续支持。

就算到最后受了伤，别人会说，忘记吧；我会希望，不要忘记。

别人会努力的疗伤，我会希望不要拒绝疤痕。

很多人都会说，记得忘记，以为忘记就可以放下；但，或好或坏都是回忆，只属于自己那独特的记忆。真正放得下是可以心无涟漪的回忆，并会心一笑，感谢那些点缀你的生命。

朋友，我不选择做一巴掌打醒你的真朋友，我只选择做接受你一切过错的损友。

回来

是期盼，是等待；

是动力，是鼓励；

是放手，是舍不得。

一个词承载的意义，

背负着关怀与希望，

诠释了不变的感情。

What's on My Mind

There's something that I need to overcome. Over these days, I understand, bad luck come along with scare and fright; good luck come along with confident and courage. Gift is only given to whom ready to accept. I know, I know right. But this doesn't mean that I know how to overcome the obstacles. I don't know what should I do. People think I like to travel alone, I enjoy. But, mainly, I want to dumb myself in a scary and insecure condition; let myself facing the loneliness and fear. I found, I'm tough, in front of people; I never show my weakness to anyone; I never ask for help even I don't have a solution. This is dangerous, I know. What all these for? I try to find something that can stimulate me, inspire me to pass through. I will feel all my experiences and journeys will be wasted if I can't overcome this time. Keep reminding myself, what I'm here for, why I want to leave a lovely home. Others may have terrific target, may aim for greatness; but I only think of myself, I want to be perfect. I want to leave an overprotected life; but after all, I'm overprotected by myself. I need to free from my own cage, but what should I do.

You may think why I'm writing this kind of post recently. Not because these life's events only happen now, not because this is the only way I can express, not even I desperately need understanding. I always say to myself, I don't mind nobody can understand me; but I do mind I don't understand my friends who I care about. I do mind my friends never share their happiness and sadness with me. So now I decided, let who care about me to understand me. Because you deserve.

悬挂着的闪光

夜空中的星星，像悬挂在天边的灯火；

仿佛天边有另一个城市，在等着谁的归来。

星星，只不过是宇宙间的一团尘土；
如果对着星星许愿会实现
那天边的他方是否也在对着我们这尘土祈祷。

如果向划过天边的流星许愿可成真；
那我愿昙花一现，消逝在那瞬间。

如果我觉得这些宇宙的尘土很漂亮；
那边是否也在欣赏我这尘埃的美。

Mamori まもり

Omamori 在日语是护身符，mamori 是守护。

守护不同保护，它是精神支柱。

它给的不是安全，是安全感；

它看不见，可是感受得到。

它未必时时刻刻在身边，可是已经在心间。

有守护者是幸运的；

是如影随形的影子，

是黑暗里的月光，

是冰冷的手中握着的热咖啡。

守护着人是幸福的；

拥有存在的价值，

学会在迷茫中清醒，

找到坚持的勇气。